Tag: When a Woman Finds Her Voice

moving on, When a Woman Finds Her Voice

Why Not? The Better Question

Bethany LaShell

dad's bookEver asked God why bad things happen? To you? To your loved ones? To a whole country? Me too. All the time. But sometimes I wonder if the better question would be, “Why not me?” 

God never promises us that we’ll be exempt from life’s hardships. In fact, he pretty much says the opposite. Many reasons exist, but let’s go with this for now:

“Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. . . . Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Matt. 5:11-12, 16

In our suffering, part of what God wants is for us to learn lessons about trusting him and living through pain. He also intends for us to use those lessons to help others who follow along behind us. What good is learning lessons about godliness if we keep them to ourselves?

In a country where more than half of marriages end in divorce, why should my family be exempt? I thought I did everything right, but maybe that’s not what I should be asking myself. The only thing that God has promised to me through this is that he will somehow, sometime, someway work this mess out to be a message for his glory and for my good.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Rom. 8:18

Maybe instead of asking, “Why me?” we should instead be asking ourselves, “Why not me? How can God’s light shine through me during this time?” 

What do you think?

If you want to read more in depth about the whys of suffering and ugliness in our world, I highly recommend the book The Beauty of God for a Broken World: Reflections on the Goodness of the Bod of the Bible by Dr. John K. LaShell.

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anxiety, healing, When a Woman Finds Her Voice

Connection: The Hard Choice

Bethany LaShell
Anne and Diana

“Let’s connect this weekend at church.” “Let’s meet for coffee next week.” Sure, as long as I don’t have to share any of my personal issues. I’d love to hear about YOUR struggles, though.

Only, real life community doesn’t work that way. It’s got to be a two-way street. Give and Take. Mutual sharing. 

Years ago, I was baffled and hurt when a friend suddenly turned on me and said, in essence, that she couldn’t be my friend because I was perfect and had the perfect family, and she wasn’t and didn’t. Hadn’t I been a good enough friend? Hadn’t I listened as she lamented her unsaved husband? Hadn’t I sympathized about her child with disabilities? Yes, I really had.

But, what I had not done was let her into my very imperfect life. Sure, my then-husband professed Christ while hers did not, but I didn’t share my loneliness when he was at church functions. Or the fact that he has major issues with porn. Or the fact that one daughter may have been ahead academically, but the other one wasn’t. And the fact that I had no idea how to deal with my kids’ ADD/ADHD tendencies.

I wish I had shared my imperfect life with my imperfect friend. Because when my perfect wall came crashing down on my head, maybe I would have had a friend to help me dig out from the carnage. 

Maybe if I weren’t so afraid to connect with other women now, I would have a bosom companion, a kindred spirit, who lives here in my town, even though I don’t live at Green Gables. Someone who would call me first with her good news or her bad news. 

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Don’t get me wrong, I dearly love my long-distance kindred spirits! I just sometimes long for one who lives just on the other side of Avonlea.

What about you? Have you checked your connection status lately?

change, reinventing, When a Woman Finds Her Voice

The Power of the Journal

Bethany LaShell

journal and penWords have power. Sometimes when we can’t speak the words out loud, we can still harness their power by writing them. Sometimes just reading the words of Scripture can speak their power into our souls.

Words reveal truth. My writer-daughter says she often doesn’t know what her characters will say or do until the words are already written. Me? I like to plan out every word. I start with an idea, then move to an outline, and then begin the actual drafting.

My journal, however, is a different story (pun intended!). I sit down with a cup of hot tea, my Bible, a pen, and my well-worn journal. Occasionally I know that I need to vent my feelings about a particular event or conversation, but often I just know that I need to release my bound emotions. And out come all sorts of emotions and thoughts that I didn’t even realize I had. Writing–and then reading over my own writing–enables me to process my emotions more effectively.

My journal also has the power to reveal wrong thinking patterns. When brought to light, I can pray more specifically for healing from these damaging emotions. I’m currently participating in an online Bible study utilizing a new book, When a Woman Finds Her Voice, by JoAnn Fore.  JoAnn leads by example and encourages readers to release their emotions appropriately in order to find healing.

For so long, I’ve kept so many emotions and details of my life hidden because of shame and fear. I’ve been told, in fact, that it was difficult to be my friend in the past because I seemed too perfect. I wasn’t trying to be perfect; I was just trying to be liked. I was hurt by that comment, but I needed to hear it. It validates my longing for a like-minded community where I can safely, without judgment, unburden my soul to find healing.

I’m tired of being perfect. I’m ready to journey toward emotional freedom. What about you? Are you ready to join me in unbinding my emotional mess? Are you ready to release your own emotional baggage?

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